Why You Should Start Sending Snail Mail

As a lover of a good British period drama, I know that a handwritten letter can move mountains and the lack of one can cause the iciest, desolate wasteland. Letters can say everything and nothing at all depending on the intent. And you may be thinking, “Dom, there’s a reason why we don’t write letters anymore. We can text and call.” While I believe modern technology is amazing, I do think that letters retain a certain level of emotion and thoughtfulness that can get lost in a text message or even phone conversations. 

Last year, I decided that the best way to keep in touch with some of my long-distance friends was to make them my pen pals. I started with a friend who's in medical school, and I found that we spoke more when we wrote to each other than when we called each other. The letters gave us the ability to write some of the highlights of our lives, as well as, catch up with each other without the pressure of maintaining a long conversation. After the success of that pen pal, I started writing to one of my friends from study abroad. Writing to her gave us a way to continue our language learning skills. We both were looking for people to speak French with, and so far, it’s been a great opportunity to practice our written French skills. I have a few other pen pals as well, but through all my letter writing, I’ve come to realize the power and the gift of words. It wasn’t until I started writing letters that I realized how limited I had felt in text messages. I wasn’t able to convey the feelings I felt clearly through text and I think I also felt pressure to respond a certain way or to say something in a certain way to make the recipient more comfortable. 

With letter writing all of those concerns fell away. I noticed that I felt very comfortable being honest about my feelings as well as some of the things I was struggling with. Something about a handwritten letter strips away a lot of the societal pressures we feel to be perfect. I think I also spent more time thinking about what I wanted to say because I knew I wanted the letter to be appealing to the recipient as well as indicative of my true feelings. As a result, my letters were poetic, thoughtful, and extremely honest. I’ll admit that after I sent the first letter, I did feel a bit like I had overshared, but after I received a letter back with the same level of honesty and intensity, I realized that maybe letter writing is precisely what my friends and I need right now. 

Not having to answer right away or to see the face of the person you’re writing to, allows you to be more honest and to use letters like a journal. I have found that this is probably the most honest that any of my friends have been with me and vice versa. Outside of the emotional aspect of letters, letter writing has become a therapeutic hobby for me. Over time, I stopped writing on loose-leaf paper and bought some textured paper from Etsy. I moved from wooden pencils to fountain pens. I bought stamps with different designs. I bought wax to seal my letters (had to add a bit of cottagecore in there). It just became an exciting way to express myself and another way to feed my stationery addiction. 

Here are a few materials to get you started:

These black and blue fountain pens that write so smooth

This pack of textured seed paper that will make you feel like a character from an Austen novel

These grandmacore stamps that add a bit of cuteness to the envelope

This Etsy shop that sells wax seals for that extra Bridgerton feel

So, I say all this to say that if you’re looking for a way to go deeper with yourself and with your friends, then letter writing could be for you. Start slow. Ask one of your friends if they’d be interested in being your pen pal and get started. You’re going to be so surprised at how much you learn about yourself as well as your pen pal. Also, let me know in the comments if you already have a pen pal.