When Family Tensions Are High.... Bake With Them.png

I don't know about you guys, but quarantine has been challenging at times. Every single member of my family is grappling with disappointments, cancellations, and anxieties. When you’re juggling all of these emotions and the fact that we can’t leave the house, patience is few and far between. I can be honest and say, I have used harsh words with all of my siblings, had an attitude with my parents, and resorted to solitude in my room, thinking no interaction was the solution to my aggravation.

Let me say now that I’m not knocking alone time. I think it is extremely necessary to maintain sanity. Outside of the usual necessary alone time, I want to encourage you to really dig into the annoyance and aggravation instead of slamming the door. Right now, you may be thinking that sounds easier said than done but speaking from personal experience— it’s very much worth it.

Recently, I found myself growing so frustrated with my family—my siblings in particular—that I couldn’t enjoy them. I just wanted to be in my room all day and any interactions seemed like nuisances. I don’t think I have to tell you that we are not called to live like this. The Bible says that we have to “bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13) And this is SO difficult, especially if you’re someone who has been pretty independent and hasn’t lived at home in a while like me. Now you may have to share a bathroom or a bedroom, clean other people’s dishes, entertain a younger sibling, etc. Family time can start to feel like a punishment. I started to feel a tugging on my heart that maybe my behavior and attitude weren’t really where they needed to be. I knew it was the Lord convicting me about my part in the conflicts and reminding me that while I couldn’t change my situation, my attitude was the next best thing. So, I decided to do what I love, which is cooking and baking, only with the help of my siblings. I could’ve done this alone, but I realized that I really needed to remember what I loved about my siblings and that could only be found through genuine quality time. Not a struggle over whose dirty towel is whose or who ate the last cookie, just quality time, because honestly, we are SO much more than who we are at our worst.

I turned on some music, pulled out the mixer, and asked my siblings to join in making some chocolate chip cookies. (You can find the recipe we used here. I highly recommend!) They never say no to sweets, so it was an easy sell. After 30 mins of laughter and helping little hands dump ingredients, I actually had a smile on my face. We all did. And something just felt so peaceful about that.

Stella (the name I gave my mixer) and I, having a jolly time.

As I was thinking about this post, I stumbled upon this Bible verse, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1) and I think that perfectly sums up how I felt. Now, is every day like this? Heck no! In fact, even just today I found myself internally rolling my eyes at many things, but I check myself because I truly believe that God is using this time to test my patience. Whenever I find myself getting short with someone, I hear God whisper, “but remember how patient I’ve been with you?” I would encourage all of us to keep this in mind during this quarantine. And make quality time fun! For example, the other night, I convinced my brother to help me put up the Christmas decorations in our basement—just for fun! It’s moments like this when you get to catch up and maybe learn something about your family members you didn’t know. You may even find out exactly why they’ve been so cranky. So the next time your parents give you some unsolicited advice or your sibling insists on leaving dirty towels on the floor, take a breath and bear with them. Maybe pull out your mixer. You never know, and the worse that could happen is you end up with a delicious treat. Be blessed and stay safe! I’m praying for you all.

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