Authentic moment: Quarantine and virtual university classes have really taken a toll on me. Early March, I felt weirdly intrigued by this off-time and the ability to spend some extra time with my family. I decided to try new recipes, purged my entire wardrobe, and started a vegetable garden. As the months have droned on, I have done a complete 180. I constantly feel unmotivated, lonely, and existential. The forced change in scenery initially seemed like a gift, but now it feels like an unmovable dark cloud. Even now that my days are filled with classes, my tutoring job, and LSAT prep, when I lay my head down at night, tears roll down my face as I struggle to find a bright spot in my day. Prayer has been difficult. When I finally muster the will to do it, I feel empty and discouraged. I say all this because I think it's important for Christians to talk about the bad times as well as the good times. It feels disingenuous to talk only about the hills and never the valleys. While it is hard to contextualize at this moment, I do believe that it is when we are in the valleys that we grow stronger. I don’t feel strong at the moment, but I don’t think the valley lasts forever.

A small source of happiness during quarantine has been my vegetable garden. I think I was watching a news report when a family was talking about how they decided to plant a vegetable garden for fun during quarantine. I felt inspired and asked my Dad if we could plant one. He said yes without hesitation. (I’m realizing now how cool of him that was.) He bought all of the supplies and then some, as my 21st birthday gift. My brother helped me put together the boxes and we assembled this vegetable garden. I wouldn’t trade that time spent with both of those men for anything.

Putting a garden together takes a lot of work, let me tell you! And at the height of summer, it was a hot and humid task. After putting together the boxes, we had to loosen the soil to encourage growth and put trash bags down to prevent grass from growing inside the box. Then, we had to put in all of our soil and plant our crops. After researching and speaking to the expert farmer, my grandpa, we figured out which vegetables would grow best in the summer season (tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, and peppers).

Seeing something that my boys and I put together, grow vegetables has been a real joy in my life. Picking fresh basil for our Papa John’s pizza is such a small yet joyful moment. Having to learn about each plant and its needs has given me something easy to think about instead of the horrors that lay right outside. Hearing only the sound of chirping birds as I clean out the beds, is my new self-care time. It may seem trivial, but in some ways, I believe my garden and the care it requires has given me the perfect outlet while we remain in quarantine.

Maybe gardening, bugs, and plants aren’t your thing. They weren’t always mine, but we all evolve and grow. If you’ve been feeling anything close to what I’ve been feeling—even if being a green thumb isn’t your cup of tea—I suggest you find the thing that brings you peace and purpose. Gardening doesn’t take away all my anxiety forever, but for the 45 mins to 1 hour I’m working, I am serene. What does that look like for you? What is keeping you sane during these uncertain times? Something else I would like to encourage is for you to be open and honest with a receptive loved one about your mental health. Just because we believe God is in control doesn’t mean we have to be strong ALL the time. In fact, it's impossible. I always find that when I am authentic about how I am feeling, my burden lightens. Half of the battle is feeling like we have to endure it all by ourselves. If you don’t have a family member who will be receptive, drop your feelings below in the comments! Women who are fearless and favoured are supportive of other women, so no judgment!

I’ll be praying for you and please be praying for me! And remember that you are valued and loved always. You don’t lose value by admitting when you are weak because as the Bible says, “for when I am weak, I am strong”. So be encouraged strong woman and find a pastime that brings a bit of serenity to your life.

Love, Dom