The other day I was hanging with a friend and their partner. We were discussing Tiktok and the type of content that pops up on our respective feeds. My friend’s partner commented that they wished they could see the type of content we see and sort of threw up their hands as if Tiktok had condemned them to the unfunny side of the app. My friend and I laughed quizzically and reminded them that Tiktok has a strong algorithm (at times controversial) that shows you content based on what you had liked in the past. Long story short, Tiktok was showing them exactly what they wanted to see.

 I thought about this idea of control over content filtering a lot after that conversation because I think we sometimes forget we have choice over what we consume. This summer, for example, I found myself feeling drained after going on Instagram and Tiktok but feeling like they were the only sources of entertainment. I was being bombarded with images of people, who I no longer had close connections with, living their absolute best life. I was constantly viewing infographics providing statistics about race in America. And I was seeing images of unhealthy bodies, labelled as the ideal. But the truth is, I had chosen to see this content. I wanted to be nosy and see the highs (and never the lows) of people I didn’t talk to anymore. I wanted to feel informed and intelligent, so I continued to like and repost infographics. I forced myself to look at bodies that looked nothing like mine for the sake of the fashion that they were wearing. It was until this past fall that I realized how much these choices were taking a toll on my mental health. And after the conversation with my friend and their partner, I decided to take a more active role in filtering out the content I did not want in my spirit with the content I did want to consume.

The Mute Button

You may feel similarly and wonder where to start. Let me tell you the most impactful way to make social media serve you. The “mute” button on Instagram is truly a godsend. There may be people who you want to maintain some form of contact with, but you don’t want to see everything they post. Or there may just be people who you have to interact with a daily basis, but you rather not interact with them online. The “mute” button is perfect for these purposes because you avoid viewing unwanted contact without unfollowing them completely. Also, Instagram doesn’t alert them that you’ve muted them and they’ll never know, unlike an unfollow that they might figure out eventually.

the unfollow button

For celebrities, brands, or anybody that you don’t know super well, the “unfollow” button should be used liberally! You don’t owe anyone a follow, especially corporations who don’t post content that feeds or inspires you.

lack of interaction

For Tiktok, be more vigilant about not interacting with content that doesn’t make you happy. Don’t comment, watch for too long, or like videos that you don’t want to see on a regular basis. Like I said above, Tiktok shows you what you’ve liked before, so take control of the algorithm.

the crux of my argument

Note that you don’t have to go on an unfollowing/muting spree right now—just unfollow or mute as posts pop up on your feed. Ask yourself when you view content on Instagram or Tiktok, does this make me happy? If the answer is no, remove it. Social media should be an escape from the real world, so you should change it to whatever that means for you.

After taking control of my social media, my Instagram went from infographics, posts of strangers, and unnatural bodies to cottage core, posts from my favorite influencers, and moments from my dearest friends’ lives. It made me happy again. My Tiktok went from prank videos, political gaffes, and relationship advice to fashion tips, recipes, and black girl luxury videos.

The moral of the story is, we have to be careful about what we subject ourselves to. Don’t let social media be a passive activity. Shape it to be something that helps you and/or brings you joy.